This is one of our most effective couples counseling techniques out there and you can do it at home! Make sure you have 20 minutes of uninterrupted, phones-off time to spend together. This is a good one to try right after the kids are asleep (really asleep). Sit across from each other in a private, comfortable place. Pick one person to be the speaker and one person to be the listener. The speaker will speak uninterrupted for 8 full minutes. Set the timer. Their job is to talk. Talk about how they feel or really anything! The listener's job is to make eye contact and to really listen. Listening to your partner without rebuttal can be challenging, but the first step to fixing a problem is to understand it. Just listen and see where they end up after 8 full minutes.

Take a few minutes in between to discuss what was said. Did you learn something about how your partner feels? Did you feel connected? Did you feel yourself being too negative? Was it hard?

Now switch and have the listener, speak. Make sure to set the timer and take some time after the 8 minutes to discuss what happened. What did you learn about yourself? Your partner? Your partnership? Try it again in a few days, but this time do it while trying not to break eye contact.

This technique works even better when you attempt the exercise with a licensed professional counselor who excels at couple's therapy. What are you waiting for? Book a free 10 minute consult to meet our therapists today! Call us at 314-329-4326

Couples Workshop: Couple's Therapy You Can Do Right Now Part 4